Be Good to Your Daughters
Taylor Swift, Quinn XCII, Joe "Bean" Esposito, and Daddy's Little Pumpkin
“Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too”
—John Mayer, Daughters
Daughters will love like you do and they’ll likely listen (to music) like you do too. Be good to your daughters by connecting with them through music. Our Bonus Track author reminds us that music will connect you to them when you’re gone.
Ben, Jonathan, and Kody all have first-born daughters and have invited them to take over the Swap this week. Their entries are simple, sweet, and profound. Music is a gift to the young, to the old, and to middle-aged dads like us in between.
Tough, feat. Noah Kahan | Quinn XCII (Abigail/Ben)
So I picked this song because, first of all, I like the rhythm it has. Also, it’s a song you can listen to over and over - at least it is for me. The meaning seems relatable because I’m sure we’ve all tried, at one point, to act tougher than we actually are. Hope y’all enjoy!
Also available on Apple Music.
The Great War | Taylor Swift (Stella/Jonathan)
I really like Taylor Swift. This is not my favorite song of hers but I have really liked listening to it recently. I like it because I can listen to it during class and not pay attention to the lyrics, but if I’m in the car on a trip or something and am bored, I can pay attention to the lyrics and make up scenarios in my head about them.
Also available on Apple Music.
You’re the Best | Joe “Bean” Esposito (Liv/Kody)
I am choosing this song because it is a song that my Mom sings to me every night.
I love it because it’s comforting and warm. You can probably guess what my favorite line is in the song because it is the most popular, “You're the best around, nothing's gonna ever keep you down.”
It gives me confidence. We sing it every night. I love it, but I love my Mom even more.
Also available on Apple Music.
Bonus Track: Daddy’s Little Pumpkin by Kaydee Cunningham
My earliest memories are of sitting in the back seat of a red Buick, windows down, unintended second-hand drags of Marlboro lights, with my dad singing his way through the entire John Prine and Todd Snider discographies… or more like shouting if I’m being honest. He was pretty tone deaf. But I absolutely loved it. It’s a deeply imprinted sense-memory of the power of music and the joy I first felt experiencing music with people I love.
My dad could recite lyrics better than the lineup of his beloved St. Louis Cardinals. I remember distinctly how hard I tried to keep up with him and being proud when I could match him verse for verse on Prine’s Lake Marie. Imagine a 7-year-old me belting out the lyrics to such a gruesome song…
Do you know what blood looks like in a black and white video?
Shadows. Shadows!”
I had a complicated relationship with my dad in my adult years, filled with disappointment and heartbreak due to the demons I didn’t know he had when I was a kid. He died suddenly a little over 5 years ago now, leaving a lot of unresolved guilt and added grief over our distance at the time of his passing. When I listen to John or Todd, I’m always taken back to that innocent time when my dad was just an “Alright Guy.” It’s not like he had a couple bodies in his trunk (that’s a reference to Todd Snider’s hilarious song). I see him at his best: goofy, loud, and tone deaf, but happy, with an infectious joy that made his daughter smile with her whole face.
I now more fully understand my dad’s appreciation for these songwriters. They’re able to concisely capture the human condition with heart and humor. When I listen to the song Billy the Bum (one of dad’s favorite Prine songs), I remember how my dad was like the narrator, empathetic to the overlooked.
Just treat 'em the same
As you would your own name
Next time that your heart starts to bleed
With this continuous connection to my dad through music, it’s as if our relationship still grows. Now I’m dwelling on the good times and the bad are fading in the rearview mirror of our old, red Buick.
5 months ago, I became a mom to a daughter of my own. The songs that shaped who I am will still be on repeat in our home, but she’ll also get the benefit of listening to a new generation of great songwriters. I mean… by the time she was 3 months old, she had already seen Jason Isbell and Ruston Kelly live.
Sometimes we grow up and our parents change, or rather, we just come to know the real them… Their demons come to light, and our innocence vanishes. I pray that no matter how our relationship might change or how my own demons might affect her, my daughter will listen to the soundtrack of her childhood and with joy, think back on her mom at her best.
Kaydee Cunningham lives in Denver with her husband Tyler and her daughter Birdie. She is Kody’s younger sister and he couldn’t be more proud of her. She’s tone deaf like her father so she has Tyler sing “oo-de-lally” by Roger Miller from the Robinhood soundtrack to Birdie instead. Her next concert will be Jason Isbell at the Ryman in October.
What a great Swap! Sing your songs to your daughters this weekend. Trust us, they’ll remember it.
-TheMusicSwap
Kaydee, my eyeballs are sweating a good bit after that. Incredible piece. As always, big shoutout to the Gib!